Monday, October 21, 2013

Risky post

Dont ever play with caffeine! You will end up like me now. Its 1: 18 in the morning and i dont know what to do because i cant sleep. Yeah tomorrow got physic(k)s paper 2 and 3 and i am just 50% ready. You probably think i should study or at least revise something for tomorrow's paper cause i am not that genius.

Yaaa i think like that too but while i am sitting at my study area i feel like someone is staring at me! It feels very uncomfortable (actually i am scared but i wont admit it!) so i just lying on my bed writing to you using my phone. You know how difficult to blogging using this tiny device right? Plus when the one who wrote is me who's having fatty boomerz fingers. It sucks i tell ya.

I want to write more but my eyes are not allowed. Well the -5.25 powered eyes need to be treat appropriately.  I risked my eyes for this pointless post, like always ! Why i speak like i ever made good post?  Loooing sigh~

Thursday, October 3, 2013

#2 Who am I?

'Be yourself'

Whenever I feel down or something wrong with me, I googled 'how to be confident'. Most of the suggestions  advised me to be yourself. The question is, I dont know who am I! I live as a different person everyday. I sometimes can be very loud (or maybe most of the time) and sometimes i can be very quiet. I sometimes can be very hardwork and most of the times I am very lazy. I can think very positive sometimes and can think very negative. I can be very kind sometimes and also be very mean. I can be very funny sometimes and be world's most boring person. I can be polite and i can be rude. I can be clean and can be gross. I sometimes very brave and sometimes very coward. I sometimes very nice and sometimes extremely bad.

The way i think also differ each day. Once i think i want to help all the beggars in this world by provide them shelters and foods. Then i think, all the beggars mustn't be helped because i'm just encourage them being useless. I also face different taste in everything. I can like someone very much now and hate s/he next 5 seconds.

Who am i actually?

Sunday, September 8, 2013

unorganized post

Getting stress-er each day. So many undone tasks. Final in less than a month. I honestly dont have any idea what my life is about. I keep doing something i dont like, something i dont even want to do, something i dont know why i do. i just follow the flow, flow yang tak tahu hendak ke mana. who am i? WHAT i want to be? WHAT i suppose to be?! Im in dilemma, life dilemma. Where should i go? What should i do?

Trying to be someone else is very me. Trying so hard to be nice while its obv not me. Living in a mess surrounding , unorganized works, unorganized stuffs, unorganized life. yea that the right word UNORGANIZED LIFE. 

Trying so hard to not care, trying so hard to act cool as i can , that is a lie. but if that is a lie who is the real me. i dont reveal me yet. 

once i said i want to be a doctor but i just realized i hate blood and wound. once i said i want to be a lawyer because i want to be someone's savior. i want to save innocent people. i want to investigate. once i said i want to be an accountant because i love calculating. but then someone told me there's so many accountants out there. and at this moment i hv set my goal to be a philosopher but i dont know what philosopher is. philosopher sounds good and i want to be a philosopher. WHAT IS THIS. and somehow i want to be a politician . its not i love politic that much, i just want to know the real things. i want to feel the dirty of politic world. i curious. im tired with all those lies on newspaper, television and politics' blog. i want to know the truth. 

i hate thriller. i hate black metal songs. i hate violent. i want to live in a peace world. no wars no lies, just me and a peace world. 

i hate how judgmental (or maybe JUDGEMENTAL idk) we are. i hope i can restart my life. i want to forget everything and start a brand new life. my mind is a mess. how to rearrange all these things. i hate how unfair this world could be. i hate someone who cant think properly and follow their so called leader and heard to everything what s/he said. i hate the fact that i wrote this entire post.

Monday, August 26, 2013

My view

We want to be special but we fear of rejection

We have great ideas but we afraid of criticize 

We want to make a different but we lose

We know we can do it but someone came and make us feel down

We don't want to care anymore but that stick in our mind

We keep wondering what is the purpose of life but we don't make any effort to discover it

We want to be someone's inspiration but we realize we are not good enough

We know a simple BUT could destroy our life but we always put blame on it

Whatever it is, this is life
We have no choice
Either bear with all these things
Or leave


oh its sad to know the fact im such a failure. 9/10 of things i do will always end up fail. i dream high but do nothing to achieve it. all i know is procrastinating , nagging and complaining. im now in order to be someone i hate. i seriously hate how emotional i was on social networks but the real thing is i am really really okay but i dont know why i looked so emotional . trust me i am very happy go lucky outside . i used to hate all those people on tumblr who non stop complaining how sad their life is , and  indirectly i am apart of them. oh is that karma? but i dont believe karma.

i make simple things turn complicated with all my ideas which mostly useless and nonsense. i make people around me embarrass with my weird bahaviour. i hurt people around me by talking. i talk without thinking. i make lame joke. im not responsible enough. i barely do my homework. i force people to accept my ridiculous thoughts. after listing what ive done, hmmmm am i that bad?!

if i am, im sorry i really didnt mean it 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Q from me to me

Nobody can stop me from dreaming. I can dream about anything I want. But, is it enough for me to just dreaming?


Actually so many things playing in my head but i couldnt express it into words. Either in English or bm i just cannot. I am very not poetic and i hate it. No it didnt mean i hate my life i just hate me. I hate how talentless i was.

Wish of the night : i wish i was poetic

Friday, August 16, 2013

Happy 16, dear me

1. I am already 16 and i still cant believe it.

2. I am 16 and i feel so old.

3. I am 16 and i dont think i worth it.

4. I am 16 and i cant cook.

5. I am 16 and i am useless.

6. I am 16 and i am not independence.

7. I am 16 and i looked like 36.

8. I am 16 and my grammar sucks.

9. I am 16 and i do nothing to improve myself.

10. I am 16 and i am bloody awkward.

11. I am 16 and i am anti social.

12. I am 16 and i cant tolerate properly.

13. I am 16 and i still confuse, is it seat up or sit up?!

14. I am 16 and i cry over the smallest thing.

15. I am 16 and i dont have any ambition.

16. I am 16 and i hope i never exist.

Monday, August 5, 2013

3 more days...

Around 3 more days for hari raya. I dont know why i am very not excited. A sign of maturity? Em maybe. There is no more reason to be ecstatic on raya since i have no grandparents :'( I have no kampung. Even ada sekali pun takde rumah kayu. I do really miss nak balik kampung masa my opah semua ada, dapat makan sedap sedap dapat main bunga api dekat halaman rumah dapat main tangkap ayam. I do really miss all those moment. Sekarang kalau balik pun dah tak best, whether kena duduk rumah uncle yang panas gila tu or duduk hotel. tak de suasana kampung langsung.

You must be really glad if you have kampung and grandparents because i dont have any and I felt so pathetic.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Weird but not weird

I got a very weird habit which is i love to mess up my room and spring clean it. I dont know whether its still called 'spring clean' cause spring clean usually refers to something more like periodic cleaning. Its totally differ with my case...

My mom tends to call me onggila because to her i am crazy. I never thought sepahkan bilik then kemas balik then sepahkan balik is unusual coz for me its one of teenagers' being. For me la. Wahaha i never take it serious pun cause i know shes joking.

Actually , i buat macam tu sebab nak practice. Practice kemas rumah. At the same time it can be an exercise to me. Well, sambil menyelam minum air orang kata. Hehe. Besides dapat talent kemas rumah boleh keluaq peluh.

I should studying for tomorrow's test. Wish me luck! Bye. Assalamualaikum.

Saturday, July 27, 2013


If I'm not mistaken, this is my fifth blog. I started blogging when I was 11 and what I can say is all the posts were totally crap. Dengan rempitnya, dengan point yang sangat la entah apa apa dengan cara penulisannya, pergh memang lawak la. Kalau baca tu memang boleh gelak terguling. Tapi blog tu dah delete sebab nak cover malu punya pasal.

But now rasa tersangat lah menyesal dan rugi, kenapa la pergi delete blog tu. Mungkin masa tu dah malu sangat kot tengok kelawakan zaman sekolah rendah dulu. Kalau la tak delete kan bagus, boleh tengok kepelikan zaman dulu dulu. Zaman muda orang kata. 

Semalam 'terstalk' one girl ni  punya blog, then tengok la post yang lama lama dulu tu , memang beza gila dengan sekarang. Sekarang grammar semua proper sangat, dulu dengan bahasa rempitnya, dengan grammar sucks bagai. Zaman blogger tengah glamour dulu, tersedak air pun nak dijadikan post. 

Its okay la because we learn from mistakes kan?! Kalau tak buat semua kesalahan bodoh tu kita takkan pernah rasa jadi bodoh dan tak kan ada pengalaman yang pelik pelik yang boleh kita ingat. Tapi sebab dah delete posts lama lama tu rasa macam dah delete evidence hidup. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

Makan with 4 Kreatif :)

Date : 25th July 2013 (16th Ramadhan)
Time : Around 6.30 pm to 8.40 pm
Place : Horizon Garden, Sri Bangi 
Description : Buka puasa (iftar?!)

Aqilah , Aina Hani & waiter

Husna and Fatin

Zafirah. She looks like Tiz Zaqyah.

Me and Izz 

Muka excited nak makan !

Well, macam biasa la kan!

hehe :)


Ain looks so cayyute!


Fatin yang comel

Our special guest, Afiq Muslim! (inspired by Ashraf Muslim)

Happy moments!

Lovely girls x

from left : ameerul , afiq and azrul!

Place: Tutti Fruitti , Bangi
Time : 8:40pm until 9.30pm
Description : Dessert time plus lepaks

Had a really good time with them!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013



Happy Ramadhan .

All the best in your life 

May Allah bless all of you