Monday, August 26, 2013

My view

We want to be special but we fear of rejection

We have great ideas but we afraid of criticize 

We want to make a different but we lose

We know we can do it but someone came and make us feel down

We don't want to care anymore but that stick in our mind

We keep wondering what is the purpose of life but we don't make any effort to discover it

We want to be someone's inspiration but we realize we are not good enough

We know a simple BUT could destroy our life but we always put blame on it

Whatever it is, this is life
We have no choice
Either bear with all these things
Or leave


oh its sad to know the fact im such a failure. 9/10 of things i do will always end up fail. i dream high but do nothing to achieve it. all i know is procrastinating , nagging and complaining. im now in order to be someone i hate. i seriously hate how emotional i was on social networks but the real thing is i am really really okay but i dont know why i looked so emotional . trust me i am very happy go lucky outside . i used to hate all those people on tumblr who non stop complaining how sad their life is , and  indirectly i am apart of them. oh is that karma? but i dont believe karma.

i make simple things turn complicated with all my ideas which mostly useless and nonsense. i make people around me embarrass with my weird bahaviour. i hurt people around me by talking. i talk without thinking. i make lame joke. im not responsible enough. i barely do my homework. i force people to accept my ridiculous thoughts. after listing what ive done, hmmmm am i that bad?!

if i am, im sorry i really didnt mean it 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Q from me to me

Nobody can stop me from dreaming. I can dream about anything I want. But, is it enough for me to just dreaming?


Actually so many things playing in my head but i couldnt express it into words. Either in English or bm i just cannot. I am very not poetic and i hate it. No it didnt mean i hate my life i just hate me. I hate how talentless i was.

Wish of the night : i wish i was poetic

Friday, August 16, 2013

Happy 16, dear me

1. I am already 16 and i still cant believe it.

2. I am 16 and i feel so old.

3. I am 16 and i dont think i worth it.

4. I am 16 and i cant cook.

5. I am 16 and i am useless.

6. I am 16 and i am not independence.

7. I am 16 and i looked like 36.

8. I am 16 and my grammar sucks.

9. I am 16 and i do nothing to improve myself.

10. I am 16 and i am bloody awkward.

11. I am 16 and i am anti social.

12. I am 16 and i cant tolerate properly.

13. I am 16 and i still confuse, is it seat up or sit up?!

14. I am 16 and i cry over the smallest thing.

15. I am 16 and i dont have any ambition.

16. I am 16 and i hope i never exist.

Monday, August 5, 2013

3 more days...

Around 3 more days for hari raya. I dont know why i am very not excited. A sign of maturity? Em maybe. There is no more reason to be ecstatic on raya since i have no grandparents :'( I have no kampung. Even ada sekali pun takde rumah kayu. I do really miss nak balik kampung masa my opah semua ada, dapat makan sedap sedap dapat main bunga api dekat halaman rumah dapat main tangkap ayam. I do really miss all those moment. Sekarang kalau balik pun dah tak best, whether kena duduk rumah uncle yang panas gila tu or duduk hotel. tak de suasana kampung langsung.

You must be really glad if you have kampung and grandparents because i dont have any and I felt so pathetic.