Monday, September 15, 2014

Compulsory

Well I always wanted to wear a hijab.
But I'm afraid
Lack of confidence
People don't look at me same anymore
People will shower me with "Whys" and "Hows"
I don't know whether I'm fully ready
Whether I'm really doing this for Allah the Almighty
Or I'm following the trend?
I just don't know

I'm scared
What will I reopen my hijab
What will the people say?
Imagine the reaction I got from people around me
I must be a joke to certain group of people

I'm afraid I'm not strong enough
To do this 
To wear a hijab
Even though its a must in Islam
But I didn't take it as a compulsory

I don't take hijab a serious matter
I googled on 'is wearing hijab a compulsory' , 'am i still got chance to be in paradise even when i'm not wearing hijab' - and a story that convincing me is on how a prostitute enter the paradise only after she gave a thirsty dog water to drink
And a story of a lady doing all what Almighty asked her to do but then she acted ruthless to a cat - and that mistake drag her to neraka jahanam.
To be frank, i was convinced with it. 
I'm fine with it.

I know one day i'm going to wear a hijab.
Its a must.

Alhamdulillah the day finally came.

And I'm happy with the new me :)





Well I only took selfies because no one wants to take pictures for me. Uwaa :'((

Monday, September 8, 2014

She will be Loved by Maroon 5 (lyrics)

*breath in*
*breath out*

1. I like Adam Levine.
2. I love his voice.
3. I like his appearance.
4. I LOVE ADAM LEVINE

Okay wtv. 

Literally I just heard this song 2 minutes and fall for itz. I love da lyricsz. Uwaa when can someone sang me this song.

Huhu. 

.............

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow I want more

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You come anytime you want, yeah.

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Yeah

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh.
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

[in the background:]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Yeah, yeah.

[softly:]
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

20 facts about me (?!)

Hello. Since everyone on instagram now is doing this "20 facts about me", i decided to make one as well. And you rock it right, no one tag me to do so, i'm doing this willingly (no one cares).

1. My name is Sharifah Nuraina bt Syed Nahar. I bet you know that my nickname is Bobby. I grow up people calling me Bobby. When i was 7, i am ashamed with that Bobby, i introduced myself as Sharifah. It all started when i was 10, i decided to stand out with Bobby. All my family members, relatives and close friends call me Bobby. Honestly i think it makes me raRe and unique. Sharifah and Nuraina are quite a typical name, so Bobby is out of the blue. And i can also bet that some of my relatives dont even know my real name. Ha ha. Surprise not surprise!

2. I do have an instagram account but i decided to not active. Why? Because i'm not really good in taking picture, well i'm not a professional photographer - frankly speaking, not even want to be one. Just kidding! I always wanted to be good in taking pictures, i want people to hire me taking pictures on their big day. I have that passion but what can i do, i dont have that talent. And i hate all those instant ""professional photographers"" who solely rely on filters. Ha ha. No heart feeling, i am jealous with you guys because even though there are numerous apps that offer various kind of filters, I STILL CANT MANAGE TO GET ONE THAT SUIT ME RIGHT. Therefore, i am jealous and be an anonymous on instagram. But it made me feel wanted when some people particularly asked for my instagram account. I. Felt. Significant. Thank you, may God bless you 😘

3. I still find its funny when people describe me as 'arrogant'. I get that a lot from my relatives. My uncle afraid that i am an antisocial teen who is lonely because he said i am an antisocial and hardly making friends. Ha ha ha. If you are my school mates , you must find this is so ridiculous. I am tooooo loud at schoool and way too quiet when i surrounded with relatives. Am i a bipolar?
The other day, my sister came told me about this one girl asked her why i am so arrogant. The way i talk, the way i stare and the way i act are so cocky. Oh mayn, it was unintended! Perhaps i forgot my spec or contacts , I DONT EVEN SEE YOU GUYS. I AM A SHORT-SIGHTED WITH -5.25 , WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BE LIKE WHEN I WAS NOT WITH MY SAVIOUR NAMED SPECTACLES OR CONTACTS. Once you know me, you will realize on how wrong your judging skills. 

4. I'm growing, physically (too obvious to state) and mentally. I experienced change every day. I feel change. You have no idea. I think more often than i used to. I'm learning. I maybe not a genius but i love to learn. Please dont be too narrow, learning is not the only in school. Every day we learn. Every single day. The difference is whether you realize or not. How to realize? When you realize that you are learning, you will make mistakes ; making mistakes are compulsory. No matter how hard you try , you cant help yourself to be a mistakes-free human. Live life beautifully, so learnt from it. When you realize that you are learning, you will not repeat the same mistakes. You also know that there are ZILLIONS of mistakes to be done in order to be a better creature, thats why you will never ever repeat the same mistakes.

5. I love the sound of waterfall,rainfall and river. Its so calming and relaxing. It kept me sane from this insane world.

6. I dont have sixth sense. Seriously, i dont have that INSTINCT which can tell good from bad, which can read peoples mind, etc. Seriously i dont! So i'm sorry if i hurt you bad because i cant feel what you feel, i dont realized that you are hurt. I'm so sorry .

7. I never have a boyfriend.

8. I love cartoons a lot!! I dont mind spending my entire living with spongebob, chibi maruko chan, doraemon, etc.

9. I dont like anime. bcs its annoying!

10. I'm a heavy sleeper. 

11. Wow each point is getting shorter!

12. I swear people who are wearing hijab are so beautiful. I love seeing woman in hijab. And hardly wish my dream on wearing hijab will come true. I've tried to wear hijab, and.... i love the concept. 

13. I am a sensitive person. And i harshly wish that i am a heartless and feelingless. I tend to cry for everything especially on hindi movie. I just cant!

14. I hate seeing people suffering - from anything. I can cry a river. I never know that i am so soft-hearted hahaha.

15. I am patriotic. I maybe dont show it out, but i am! Ask my family members they'll know!

16. I am romantic. Even though i never showed to anyone, but i know i am romantic. I love flowers! And my fav is SUNFLOWER 🌻

17. I may eat your food.

18. I always wanted to bake but i dont have an oven.

19. My life motto is "i will always get what i want". How serious? Okay its like this, if i really want something, i will work for it day and night until i get it. But well in life, we cant always get what we want, if what i want are too big to be true, i will hold on and say i no longer want it. So its a win-win.

20. I always pray to Allah on making me rich, beautiful, classy, slim, and destined me a good soulmate. 


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Loving myself

Tell me how can i not love myself when all i have is me?

When no one there for me , during my darkest times , all i have is me

When i tried to explain something and no one willing to listen, the only one who convince me is me.

How can i be not selfish when no one teach me how to not be one ; i am an affectionist -by myself.

Why are you still wondering why i pamper myself much when i should work that ass out to do something i supposed to do? 

Because all i have is myself.

I hurt myself, wishing for someone i called companion to convince me, but no.

I heal myself.

I'm growing up. I feel the maturity in me now. 

Laugh?

Just laugh.

Take me as a joke. Go tell the whole world. Make fun of me. 

I beg you pls do so.

But i'm not going to do that for myself. 

Bcs at the end of they day, no
matter how many people surround me, no matter how chaotic the circumstance, i learnt that i need to be alone. I have to spend my time with the only one who can accepts all my flaws, not judging me, even though sometimes i feel like knocking my head to the nearest wall, i still love me. 

All i know at the end of the day, i myself told myself on what to do. I love arguing with myself because whether i win or lose, i feel satisfied.

Why should i pleased people who never in once in their life thinking about my priority. 

No.

I dont need toxic people. 

Saddened, 80% of people i know are toxic.

But what can i do?

And somehow i am thankful to be surrounded with these toxic people who are always spreading hate over love, told negative than positive , etc because i realized they wanted me to fail. Without further thinking, they actually taught me on how to think and deal with stupid society. I can try to adapt. And pray hard to God to not be apart of them.

Just read Singapura dilanggar Todak classic story. It made me think on how bad our society are. How filthy and severe. I just cant. 

Our people hard to accept changes - including me.

We afraid of changes because we are too comfy at the point we are lying now. We rather to not move on than taking risks for a better future.

We are too afraid. 

Honestly thats me.

I always wanted to do something dangerous and fun but i'm afraid of the consequences- which made my life now is as plain as plain water. 

I always wanted to be a cat with 9 lives.

Thats show how coward i am.

Not to question why i was bornt in this circumstance.

And Hang Tuah

I am sad. True sad. I'm not against anything but hmm.

I am irresponsible but i still love me and accept me for who i am and always try to be a better me.

Hang Jebat.

an endangered species

Mentality

I know you must be fed up with this mentality problem faced by Malaysians. 

Politics

Dirty. Whatever sides, it still dirty. Its not the politic itself, its the man under it. Blame power and money.

Extremist

Extremists who are too obsessed with the path they taking part in.
I dont like extremist.
Good intentions may turnt vice if ones being too obsessed.

Modesty

Wished by many, did by little

Diligent

An everything key

Famous

May be somebody's purpose of living.

Rich

The only reason to keep working on things we dont like and hoping for a fortune of money.

Life partner

Dreaming of too good to be true life partner. 

Death

Everybody's last destination in this insane world.







A world nature

Search a man who never treat you like a joke; happy for a moment and throw you apart when he doesnt need any. 

You are a woman. Every woman has a pride. Take care of yours, no one going to take care of yourself besides you. 

Make love- with yourself. Treat yourself like a girlfriend, the best company. Listen to your problems without judging yourself. Spill everything in your mind , just say whatever you want.

You may see this as a simple thing yet no effort needed. 

But not everyone can afford it - because they are afraid . Yeah, include me.

Remember that you are valuable. No matter what people say. You know yourself more than anyone else. 

Do what makes you happy. I know its easy to say but when it comes on taking action , hard.

God is fair. Everything will be paid- sooner or later. 

Dont take grudge on people who betrayed us, downgraded us, take us for granted, treat us like a trash, etc. 

Just dont!

Remember they maybe have power and money but remember, above of all Allah is always there- be with the ones who asked for His help, be with people who are betrayed.

Power and money may blind us from seeing good from bad and vice. 

Power and money can make us forget Allah.

Power and money can also be a form of test from Allah, to test His slaves.

Power and money are ruling this world. 

Power and money are everything - ridiculous.

After all....

Joke is when we know these, then power and money are what we chasing for.

We study hard to get good grades, high qualifications because we wanted to have a stable job - to get money.

Therefore, people treated us like shit when we dont have a fortune of money. People lose respect. People take us for granted- forcing us to listen every of their commands.

But what can we do?

"You dont have the money and power, so shut your mouth and listen to us. We are helping you."

Help?!

Buto kau lah tolong.

I'm sorry for harsh words I just cant help myself. 

I'm tired with all your silly games. 

Of course we dont have the power to stop, we dont have a pocket full of cash to feed you, to shut your bloody mouth.

And we accept it as

A world nature.



Monday, September 1, 2014

No room for regret

I maybe late. My self-conscious attends a lil bit late than anyone else. But i keep in mind that no room for regrets in my life. I cant promise this enthusiast will last longer, but for this while i'll try my to keep it. 

So much happened to me within these 3 days that i havent write on you. Gonna steal my time on writing soon ; obviously not now I have chem paper tmr.

3 days break got me like as fast as a blink of eyes. Wahaha and i started my revision the third day after maghrib 

Wahaha.

But as what i mentioned earlier, no room for regret. 

And happy independence day dear my lovely country. I promise to consume something for this country one day. And perhaps doing well in studies is also an achievement for country right? 

I love Malaysia <3