Wednesday, March 30, 2016

my resume

K-07-25, Kenaria Kondo, Taman Sri Kenari,
43000, Kajang, Selangor.
Seeking leverage to acquired academic knowledge of chemical engineering and analytical skill into effectively filling your techincal officer position.
·         Diploma in Chemical Engineering (Plant Process), expected graduated in 2018
Universiti Malaysia Pahang, Pahang, CGPA 3.47
·         Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia 2014
SMK Jalan Empat, Selangor, 6As 2Bs 2Cs
·         Scored a GPA of 4.00 in Analytical & Instrumental Laboratory subject
·         Won a number of ‘Mind Games’ competitions like Sudoku, crossword and chess (Champion of Chess under 20 in state level)
·         Ability to evaluate different sources of informations to get satisfied essays (Second place for Argumentative Essay-writing Competition on ‘Should Nuclear Weapons be Outlawed Worldwide?’
·         Travelled to LDCs (Least Develop Countries) like Myanmar and Nepal, in a programme to adapt  with their lives
·         Willingness to shift priorities in response to the demands of a situation
·         Initiatiative , self – reliance and fast learner
·         Demonstrated strong communication skill in verbal and written (Bahasa Melayu and English
·         Emceeing varieties of local neighbourhood events, joining debates and essay-writing competitions
March – September 2017                                 Intern , Warna Sdn. Bhd , Shah Alam, Selangor
·         Assisted manufacture engineer in conducting daily responsibilities
·         Organised a public ‘Road Show’ in International Paint Fair

December 2016                                  Waitress, Secret Recipe, Kajang, Selangor
·         Assisted customers taking orders
·         Working in kitchen section and bartender when lacking of employers


·         Interested in reading, favourite genre is science-fiction because it can create a broader  mind and enriches perspective
·         Travelling all around the world in order to gain experiences and see world from the other angles
·         Anything that inspiring and motivating, listening to people’s problems and offer a helping hand to the ones whom needed


Hanisah Bt Bon (Kasbon)                                                                              Name
Supervisor                                                                                           Position
Warna Sdn. Bhd                                                                                Name of organisation
No 5 Jalan Timuni, Seksyen 17                                                      Address
Shah Alam, Selangor                                                           Email address


okay, chill. don't get shock! 

you are just reading my resume for my english subject. hope it will help you in drafting a good resume in future.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

voided heart

You know that people will appreciate what they don't have, while they have it, the values of their things suddenly dropped drastically and once they lose it, the values will rise extra-gigantically. 

For a better understanding

Before any further elaborating and writing, I would like to apologize to myself and readers (if any) for my lacking skills on writing. If you realized, lately my writing and language skills are getting numb and dumb. Engineering trait eh? hahaha. Due to busyness , which I can probably tell, bajet busy and not productive type of busy, instead; complaining of having A LOT of WORKS and STRESS OUT but endeavoring zero effort to repair situation. Okay blablabla, the only point is that I wanted to say that I've been reading less lately and my writing skills getting worse. I can barely thinking of any suitable words right now. On daily basis, I communicate and interact with people by using my mother tongue which is Malay. Informal Malay. The harshy mushy Malay language. So pardon me if I somehow wrote Malay because I cannot think of any English verbs. Again, repetition. OMG how bad is my writing skills right now. I really hope that no one give a fuck when i write in Malay. Soon, I'll be the usual B. Just pray for me.

WOW , writing does make me feel better.

Let's stick with the topic of the day. Value of something.

This couple of years, there are like a tornado that hit my family and I and all of us having had no other option except for just accept with. No other option. Whether we redha or not, we needed to redah. The family are somehow falling apart. Everyone changes. Taking their responsibilities and do life in their own ways. No longer standing as a strong unit. It's sad. Very sad actually.

I was raised with love. Love from my both parents, siblings, maids and people around. I never appreciate the value of love, instead I tend to choose money in every way. I am blinded with the quote of 'love the unloved'. I blamed my too much family love as because I am happy and loved and cukup kasih sayang that's why i dont have any boyfriend. How narrow.

I am cocky. I wanted the best. I rejected everyone, I chose my friends, I dont keep in touch with former friends, teachers and all the networks i used to work/be with. I judged people from different family backgrounds for their lacking of love. I claimed everyone attention seeker and tak cukup kasih sayang. I never actually appreciate my strong bond of family unit...

until the day i lost it.

and i can do nothing to fix it. This heart is voided. I am now living so far apart from my family. I should say, every single person from the family is dealing life in their own preference way. How sad. I miss having a true family. I miss the family vacations. 

we are still family. I know my dad loves me too much, my mom does. But, from my observation, the bond is getting looser. Sister is married. That's the first big loophole. Now, no matter what we've done together as a family, there is still insufficient. Not completed. Something is wrong somewhere. 

Dear everyone who still have a strong family bond, do appreciate it.

 - It's okay to not have a significant others while everyone in your age has, 
-it's okay to ask for permissions from your parents everytime you wanted to step out from the house, 
- it's okay to feel extremely angry and unintentionally cursed to your family members when they are being annoying
- it's okay to lock yourself in the room for the entire day as a sign of rebellion

Always put your family first.

Family is everything. Do realize it before you lose it.

Please I'm begging you.

Once you felt that there is a void resulted on the lacking of family love, you will suffer more. Everything is suddenly so wrong. Stay focus is the hardest thing to do. The simplest thing can be the most complicated existence in your life.

money is also important.

but trust me love, you can find money, you can replace boyfriends/ girlfriends/friends, you can change partners ((not all marriages success)), 

but one thing for sure.

No other things can replace family & their love.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Jimah's birthday celebration

Last Thursday was Haziemah's 19th birthday. Haziemah is my classmate, someone I quite closed with. I sometimes hang out at her place. She's extremely nice! She loved to call me poyo. All times... sometimes for no reasons, she would suddenly

'poyo lah bobby ni.'

And i would respond like

'hmm poyo ke?' - sad face

then she afraid that i terasa

'eh manada, kita main main je.'

This endless loop of she calling me poyo and i bajet terasa memamg sampai bila bila tak habis. If she reall think that i terasa, oh bruhh, this heart was made of steel. (krkrkr) ((made of steel ke))

After all, she's very nice. Haziemah very rapat with her roommate and also her bestfriend, Umi. Umi is so funny. Not like me-try-hard-funny. Umi is just naturally funny. Couldn't recall any example to visualize her type of funny but seriously, if you hang out with them, you would lose your mind. Okay, not that dramatic.

Nak dijadikan cerita, in order to celebrate Haziemah's birthday, we went dinner at steamboat.

Aniq steamboat's if i'm not mistaken.

Located near the heart of Pahang, Kuantan. This place very popular. 

Adults - RM 19
Student (with matric card ) - RM 17

It's a buffet concept restaurant. They not only offer steamboat and BBQ varieties, there are also mainstream food like fried rice, nasi lemak, mee goreng, mihun, et cetera. the most exciting part is that you can make your own ABC. You can put how much ingredients you wanted to

and of course, I made the best ABC in town. 

I suggest kalau u'ols nak pergi, pastikan perut betul betul lapar. 

OOTD lepas baliik

z roommmates 

bob u high


Add caption

wife material(?!)

hobby : sleep

Not to mention, the entire outfit masa balik tu memang bau asap, Even my rambut semua pun bau 

Okay, for the steamboat you can choose your flavour soup whther you wanted it a plain soup or tomyam. We chose 1 soup and 2 tomyams.

At the moments we all first had our seats, I started to sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Jimah, 


tHEY were too segan and humiliated by my song, 


you guys tak chill la haha.

Sunday, March 20, 2016

sexy so noks

Early this morning, my squad and I needed to go to UMP Pekan for our SoftSkill Intelligence Spiritual Talk. Just a 2-hour session of talking and teaching about what is IQ, EQ and IS. You know, usual softskill stuff.

The talk started in 8.30 am. It approximately took about 1 hour to go to UMP Pekan and we got ready very very early. Despite the fact I slept at 5, I still managed to woke up and get ready on time. But like always, I left behind because I need to refill my very very useful functional 'Sexy' (sexy is my bottle name. FYI, i named most of my things according to their appearances, how judgmental i am haha). My Sexy is very functional because it can content up to 1.5 liter of water compared to only 0.5 liter inside on Pinky (Pinky is my ex bottle. She missing in action. I did make a series of  search and rescue plan, but the odd is not in our favour. Since nowadays Malaysia is very very hot for the Ekuinoks, we, Malaysians need to drink a lot of water. I bring my sexy everywhere, Even to shopping malls! She's very functional because she's not only fed her beautiful cute owner, but also her monkey friends. I actually an official water sponsor to my friends. They are all very lazy to bring bottle everywhere. Balqis got a cutie Jinny (green tupperware I named Jinny), Balqis doesnt care if i want to borrow Jinny,but she will never bring it for herself. Very lazy meh.

I was behind Aiiman and Balqis for about 3 minutes. Salwa already took the car and fetch Haziq in front of KK2. She then asked us to wait in front of our hostel. I again, chose the wrong entrance zzz. While waiting for both Sal and Haziq we took OOTDs with a lot of typical poses. 

The original plan was that Salwa cannot drive in a long distance so thats why we brought along Haziq but then suddenly salwa wanted to drive.The journey went well. Like usual she drove a little fast. 


about 5 more minutes to reach UMP Pekan

the kancil in front us suddenly want to turn right without giving signal. An emergency break was hit. 

We were done, then only

the car behind us crash on us.

I was holding my Sexy, full with liquid. The impact made quarter of the liquid flew out from the bottle and wet the entire living mechanisms in the car. The most obvious one was Balqis, her entire tudung is splashed with water.

The inertia produced made us first jumped a little and then landing harder on back. 

Like always, Aiiman will non - stop with her nags as only her pain receptors working but not us. Like always also, no one gave a fuck because bigger thing to look forward.

The back bonnet dents. The infront bonnet of the causer dents harder. 

Both are rented car but our owner was salwa's close acquaintance unlike the other one was strict.


After finished with the talk, then only we discovered that the car unable to get started.

My friends and I vaining around under the sunlight, yeap I am frickin burnt!

from 1040 till 1400.


while waiting for a savior

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

rebel atomens

Creating memories is all we did since semester 0. 

So hello guys, welcome to next series of let's get rebel with Atomens. Atomens is our group whatsapp name which we named it for no any reliable reason. None of us are a big fan of ultraman but i honestly love how ultraman hands-cross to make light shoot. or whatever the name of his power.

The original plan was

 Go to kk3 cafe, print out some notes and 

a. searching for food around the cafe.
b. got to kk4 for tomyum scrumptious session.

then, the printer shop i usually went to close and the other stall cannot read my thumbdrive. 

While waiting for Salwa's dragon fruit juice which tasted nothing like dragon fruit but milky mango with dragon fruit sweet seeds, there came a crazy idea from of us. 

'jom g makan kfc'

After a few chitchats while waiting for the juice, then again every rebel decided a yes and started searching for kereta sewa. At first, i thought we're just going to take the bus to Taman Tas then little did i knew that they were targeting for a car. 

Majority wins. Hands down.

It was 9.00 pm. We went straight to the bus stop, just trying to figure out luck for bus, and walah the next bus approximately arrived on 2157, KFC Taman Tas is not a 24 hour. We kept searching for kereta sewa, finally at 9.38 pm, we got our kereta sewa.

And we rushed to KFC InderaMahkota, located 30 minutes away from UMP. 


an unplanned outing of us.

The dresscode : selekehness & selipar jepun.

Since it was unplanned, non of us allowed to change anything. All of us basically just wear a very selekeh cafe outfit. Everyone wore an outerwear and a sleeping shirt inside.

Here come the most bizarre best, Balqis wore a keduts tudung. 

# R A R E

On me: Bawal from pasar malam depan UMP (the khamis one) , RM 5. Jersey from home. Outerwear from 2011 vacation at a'famosa resort Malacca, i couldnt remember the exact price but i guess its a RM 10
Not seen. Chocolate wearable brown pallazo from mama's wardrobe and green & red slipper from Tesco, RM 4 (ON SALE)

guess who need to put A LOT of effort on taking self portrait, damn so uGly so bEttY

Arrived UMP at 12 am, need to climb the gate. MAGATS there are only one chair and I'm so bloody stuck on the gate. My buttock hurt so bad!

what a rebel we r guyss.

not to mention we got 8 am class next morning kuikuikui.

ciao <3

Monday, March 14, 2016

shell & tube

Those are shell & tube exchanger. It is widely used in industrial processes and power plants as they can work both in small volums of heat transter and as well as needed as in high pressure system.

I'm sorry if I bored you with my engineering stuff. I just need to write this OMG im so stressed!  Last week I conducted a laboratory experiment on the effect of flow rate in the effectiveness of shell and tube exchanger. 

Unlike lab manual and all those scientific-related manner, I'm just going to point out everything I understand about this experiment.

Basically there is a big machine named shell & tube exchanger. It's a pretty cool machine. There are a lot of small tubes inside it which I bet people called turbulence. There are 2 parts for this experiment, A is for hot water and B is for cold water. There are two tables we needed to fill in. During experiment A, we need to make a constant flowrate of cold water which my group decided to go for 10. We need not to adjust the flowrate of cold water again for the entire experiment A, instead we just need to adjust for the flow rate of hot water which is 5, 10 , 15 and 20. The reading of the temperature for hot & cold water inlets and outlets will appear right on the digital screen. Not easy as it seen. We first made it wrong, we adjusted for both cold and hot water. Then, with the help of super nice lab assistant we managed to back to the straight path. For each flow rate, we needed to wait for 5 minutes in order to get the most stable value. 

I actually involved minimal in this experiment because idk why it's hard for me to get along with people while doing experiment. Everytime I voiced out, I felt so numb and I felt like dragging the whole group to the hell of a fail grade. Then, I decided to keep quiet. I get along well with the girld but not with the boys, Idk why maybe I am incapable of working in group. OMG.

That's it. So much things more to say but I think I need to stop now. It's 2.11 am and I got 8 am super strict but not at all garang but a bit english lecturer. Followed by Calculus at 10am and I revised nothing on differentiation. and finally got mass and heat transfer lab at 2pm with interview that I havent finished my studies yet. And i also havent perform isya' prayer and my place looked like tornado.


Sunday, March 13, 2016

Let's choose to ignore!

Insecurities. Girls are very insecure, it's like a girl-nature to get insecured in almost everything. My insecurities lead to a series of linked mental-health problems. You know, anxious & bipolar-disorder. My insecurities is resulted on over-jealousy and over-thinking. I overthink, most of the time. I always wanted to be the best, I want no people beat me in my major. I want to be the best, the only best, the most special human creature every one ever met. I try hard to be that girl. I hate mainstream, except for One Direction. They are the only mainstream I love and honestly there's time I want to not love /like them but I can't. I hate trends because they are mainstream. I don't do ig because well yes

1. I insecure.

2. I don't have a real amazing life to share.

3. I hate mainstream.

4. I hate competition.

This wild guess and the tendency of this guess to be true is about 99.97% to be true, probably the reason why I don't commit in any relationship is because of this negative trait of mine. I am a jealous girl. And insecure. And overthinking. Somehow, I chose to ignore all that and focus more on being a better version of myself cuz if i keep thinking aboot it i'm going to be terribly sad and my bipolar will strike all over again, that's sucks dude! I'm up to no kidding!

Yes, a healthy relationship requires all these all plus and minus. If jealousy is conveyed as love than how about open-mindedness? Less love? and What about over-jealous-towards-every-single-thing-and-every-girl-wants-my-bf?  Over love? Too love? heh. for me it's just a sign of an unstable mind.

Doesn't make any sense!

On the other hand, I myself have to think from another side of the coin. Everyone fights a battle we having no idea about.


I was hired as an actress!

for one of my classmate project.

But nahh, I wasn't born as an actress (well not for an unpopular school project, I was born for Hollywood! ha ha ha). I unmanaged to deliver the simplest lines and laughed all way long. Ah Gawd, he recorded it all my stupid laughs! Bij, don't hit the play and please delete my role! I'm afraid he's going to use it against me to blackmail me when i one day becoming famous.

It's a wrap! 

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

towards an engineer material

Supposed to be seating for 2 quizzes today, but Chemistry quiz got cancelled. Walah. Means more time to study Chemistry especially Alkene, I just started with the introduction part. There much much more on on physical properties, naming it, cis trans, e z nomenclature, preparations, substitutions and others more. I incapable of covering the Alkene because I was paying attention on Material & Energy Balance (MEB). Even there are only 2 questions, open booked, 50 minutes BUT I swear it's not easy! Killer subject I guess.

I hope I don't bore you with my engineering stuff, because as for what I'm thinking this is one of the ways for me plant the engineering spirit in me which I lacked most, for an engineering student. LOL. I'm mentioning engineering quite so much.

You know what, I read fiction, particularly chick-flick. I love words. I love flowery words, idioms, metaphors and almost every literature language. But in engineering, the shorter and straight to the point without idioms and simile, the more engineering material you are. Which in this case, I'm having most issue with. As I oathed myself that I will try hard to be apart of engineering family, I came out with several ideas on becoming 'engineer material'.

1. I should will stop reading fictions. lol. i should stop reading chick-flick-too-good-to-be-true tales. So, byebye Sophie Kinsella, Lindsey Kelk & my fav character, Rebecca Bloomwood.

2. I will read more science fictions.

3. I will get involved in intergalactic adventures; Star Wars, Star Trek, you named it.

4. I will wear less pink <-- irrelevant cuz I'm not a p!nKy guRl

5. Try to be less feminine.

6. Here come the best idea, instead of reading chick-flick, i replaced it with reading thesis. zzzz

7. Do more maths.

8. Be a geek.

9. Write a blog post like an engineer. Straight to the points, state issue, explain problems, come out suggestions, do calculations, conclude, no feelings, robotic, perfectionist, plain, boring, dull, not cheeky.


Thats it.


Tuesday, March 8, 2016

a coward b

Consistency. There's time when I actually can read, study, doing sudoku, watching TBBT and write a post. But, I'm afraid whether can I do the same exact things tomorrow for the sake of consistency. I am a very dependable to an emotion or uncatogarized thing called 'mood' and voluntary. I hate to do things I don't want to do, things I don't give a fuck on, et cetera.


Life is not always going the way you wanted it to be. Plans are somehow just a plain written words on a piece of paper; no any specific meanings, no longer a guide towards a dreamy life. Some circumstances left us no choice except for just go through it.

I actually don't really know what's wrong with me. Me and my engineering course story is like in an endless tale of love-hate relationship. Whenever I faced hardships in studies, I blamed engineering. Whenever I met an un-nice human, I blamed engineering. Whenever I found myself problems ; I blamed you-know-what. It's sometimes not even related to you-know-what.

The first place I took this course is because I think in future I will not regret. It's once a lifetime offer and both my mom and dad were over the moon the day of my UPU result came out. Unable to make them disappointed, I grab this chance. Oh for my goodness sake, am I blaming my parents?

See how coward this B.

May one day, I got back what I missed.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Me as an engineering student

I write this another post to motivate my own self. No any other reason because there will be time in future that i'll stalk myself because well, I am obsessed with me. No doubt. So, in case that time, I turning into a total douche and lost track in life, this post will motivate me. Reminded me how ''significant'' i used to be.

My favourite TV show now is The Big Bang Theory (TBBT). A genius show. The main characters are all scientists, physicist to be accurate. They are smart-ass. Since forever, I am always attracted to geniuses. From Detective Conan to Sherlock to Ted Mosby (errr) and currently to Sheldon Cooper. I started really watching it at the beginning of Semester II, the show somehow make me eager to study engineering. I always wanted to be a genius. Since English is not my first language, I make TBBT ( or basically any shows that use English language as a medium of delivering words ) a reference in order to learn and understands the slang and usage of English in a better way. I love English language. Most of the time, I watch them with inserted English subtitle. Sheldon Cooper has a wide range of vocabulary and most of words that came out from his mouth were alien to my ears. Sometimes, I did google the peculiar word he spoke and walah, i know a new word then i practise it by tweeting.

The saddest part of me is I'm not a genius. I have such a grave difficulty even when the only problem I faced is conducting the simplest lab experiment. We work in group for every lab experimental. I felt terribly sorry for my groupmates for having this despicable in their team.

1. It's not like I don't try to improve myself, but the outcomes are always worse than the idea of me not knowing what's the fuck is going on most of the time. For instance, a simple task is given to me. Instead of completing it, I complicate it with my won interpretations and keep asking as for them ''unrelated'' questions.

2. I love language, so language does matter to me. Engineering students and language are suddenly two different things.

3. I'm not a perfectionist but I cannot do things I don't understand. Sadly, it took aboot 25 hours for me to understand a simple thing.

4. I don't target engineering. I didn't do well sciences subjects in school. I target accounting or economy. For the 1000th times, I obtained an A for Prinsip Perakaunan in SPM. I guess, UPU was sabotaging me.

5. I always ended up like a total loser and a sort of idiotic bimbo right after I voiced out my opinion during laboratory experiment according to my ''logic''. Of course, my 'logicness' suit nothing Science.


That's it for now.

To whoever read this whether voluntarily or vice versa, wish me luck pursuing engineering.

Aiiman, Balqis & me in laboratory coat.

I'm not sure if you notice it, my lab coat is the only short-sleeved. It was my sister's, est. since 2009. I'm a cheapskate, you can say it. But, compared to others, i got a strong feeling that mine's is less thick and very comfortable to wear. 

the happy faces BEFORE the experiment.

If only she knows what's miserable followed her after this photography session... 
It was 2.00 pm. I studied the lab manual the night before, for the quiz and for a more understanding about the experiment. Like always, attempt failed. So here come, bimboby.

why the hell i looked damn pale. a sign from universe?

untold fate

Waddup? I'm currently home. Kajang home to be precise. I brought along my lab reports, to do. In case.


am i really an engineering student?

Monday, February 1, 2016

I'm too awesome to handle

It's February. And it's 2016.

I want to write to remember, my life may not be a really what everyone's wishing to live or even to be apart of this story of life.

But nahh, I'm awesome!

got to go, I am about to watch The Imitation Game. Heard a very positive feedback from almost everyone. It's almost two years passed it was released. I know I'm late but late is better than never. Benedict Cumberbatch is actually the only main reason why I wanted to watch this movie despite I can barely understand British accent, I put a lot effort to find one's online with subtitle. I found one, but I can't enlarge the view, so sad.


Wednesday, January 13, 2016

louis' my lucky masscot

after so many hours watching how i met your mother, oh that show was so great!!! yeah, i'm late, the last episode aired about 2 years ago, i'm way too busy back then (zz).

back to the point, after so many hours of watching himym, i decided to have a so-called productive day. i opened my laptop to write about this piece of story about what happened to me last saturday, well it's pretty hilarious and i feel like my life is a sitcom. easily affected bobby in action!

then i switched on my laptop, about to write a word and little did i know that my alphabet "B" had difficulty to press, you can say it, sort of antique laptop. then i put myself in a situation which i pulled the B and i cannot stick it back.


how hideous it seemed when there is such a hole in the keypad, i'm enough having old stuff but not a hideous unfunction ones. with a reference, i tried to stick it back. it took me about 25 minutes to get it done. gosh. its a micro! thank god i'm not taking micro engineering!

louis tomlinson.

i was listening to love you goodbye. after a bazillion times of trying to make the stuff get into each other, that time, louis' high notes was in charged, i sang along and




I MEAN C'MON, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I really feel like a winner!!!


conclusion : I love louis.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Day 3 – Your views on drugs and alcohol.

                             As a Muslim, drugs and alcohol are prohibited in every way possible. Except for drug for medicine. I mean, the misusage of drugs are prohibited. Alcohol is well known as a bad thing since i was a little kid. In islam, if you drink alcohol (in an amount i can not remember) , all your good deeds are not counted for 40 days. It’s always scared me out. I watched a numerous india-based films i found out that every time they have difficulties in life; love failure, money insufficient, etc they would somehow went to the rooftop and drank alcohol till they lose their minds. there are basically 2 types of alcohol, good international expensive ones and cheap local ones. After all, the purpose are all the same i guess, to help people forget their problems and enjoy the moment. In 3 idiots, Kareena was drunk because she wanted to earn courage which she never got during her sanity.

                               There are heavy punishment for drug addict, drug dealers, drug keepers and whatever that related to misused of drugs. When you are under the dominant of drug you will lose so much sense i guess. There’s a recovery centre for the ones who want to go back to the right path, but once they fully recovered from any drug addiction, the society still can not accept them. Sampah masyarakat – malay term for drug addicts. Drug addict also lead to minor and major crimes. I just watched Law and Order just now, the story i portrayed an abuse case due to consequence of cocaine. The father is a psychologist, a jealous wife dizzled him so he gave cocaine, asked her to train their children. An abusement happened. I felt sympathy. You can not do anything as it was a fate. To be born like that, worsen, wrong choice. We cannot simply punish people without trying to fit into their shoes, but law was not invented for nothing. Even the fairest judge can not give the best result because they can never feel what the offender feel, the reasons behind on whys they do that. It’s all the matter of fate. Yes, you can change your fate and work to be a better person, but... zzz. Whatever, let’s just pray for the best.(( By the way, drug dealers are rich ha ha ha. ))

                               Every one is the same, whoever you are, what ever wrongs you do in life, i belief theres always a reason behind it. Have some faith with God, He knows what to do.

Day 2 – where you’d like to see yourself in 10 years

                               2026. I’ll be turning 29. That’s quite a huge sum of number. All i want for my last year in 20 series is to have a very stable mental condition. Away from the quarter – life crisis! I want to be happy! i want to see myself in designer suit, my only problem is whether to go for prada or gucci, being a really successful engineer and the most important thing is that, i want to love my life and live to the very fullest of it. Not to forget, i also want to have a very tight relation with the almighty, read a lot of books, mature but not boring and perhaps no longer an extra jovial joker. What a life!

                               I also want to make my parents really really happy, sending them to the holy place, with my own money. Speaking of it, it just reminded me of my dream on exploring this world. I want to travel! Oh geez! It’s all about money $$.

                               Having a fit body is always on the list.

                               Marriage? Hmm. Let God decides it best, i have no idea when it comes to this matter.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Day 1 : Your current relationship, if single discuss your single life is.

     2016 and still single.  Single in relationship term means that you don’t have boyfriend or girlfriend. As for me being single also means that you are courage enough to face this world alone. Well, perhaps you need everything you need (except for a partner), a very nice big family, a bunch of companions you called friends, a good circle of aqcuaintances and a tight life schedule that make you really busy until do not have time to think about anyone except for family, friends and money.  However, it’s the moment right before you sleep, you recap about hows your day going on , it’s hurt to admit that you literally need someone to listen to all your stories. Just listen.  That time, you will feel  lonely for not having a partner.

      Being single is actually good. You can do whatever you want to without thinking anoyone’s feeling, you can flirt with anyone you wanted to without feeling guilty and you can eat your meal without thinking what’s your partner eating right now. Being single also means that you don’t have any respon sibilities regarding telling your partner every single hour on where you are, whom are you with, what are you doing and also what are you wearing. It’s sort of free.
      OKAYY, LETS GET IT REAL!! No more sugar-coated words. Being single is actually sucks. Especially when you are surrounded with people who have partner. Lonely af. That’s how my life is. There’s time i felt literally really really lonely, till the level i did my own night walk at the jog track. It’s hard to focus on life when having nobody by your side took the most space in your mind. Having insufficient cash just make things worse. Well for me, it’s much better to not have boyfriend but have money, but my case is that, i have neither. 

     Being single is sucks when you are amazingly awesome and happy go lucky and your friends love you and you got uncounted amount of compliments over how fastastic you are. It sucker when you achived something and you just want to share to someone and WALAH, you don’t have that someone. Somehow you will always end up talking to your imaginary camera you named ‘Mocha’ and your roommates scared at you for talking alone but still joining you talking to that camera.  Tht’s how you achieved your happiness. That’s how you heal your own loneliness. It’s even harder when you can’t tell anyone about your loneliness because you want to maintain your classy and i-dunt-care-whats-going-on and i –love-me look.

      Pretend. We all should stop pretending. I should stop pretending. Stop pretending that someone is really on my phone when nobody actually does. Stop pretending that i dont care but deep inside i did and much more embarrassed that everyone knew about it no matter how much i hid it.  The more effort i put to hide the loneliness, the more it showing. Yes, being single is lonely. Only if you weak as me. My friends keep saying that  i am a bipolar disorder patient. I can be really happy and the next  5 second , i can be really moody. Well, that’s what lonely person do right?

     On the other hand, i am so free and happy. Just what i’ve mentioned earlier, i can do whatever i want. Being single also help me nourish myself. I have more time with me. I get to know me better. I spend most of my time with me. Being single also improve my imagination, it’s like i can imagine ANYONE in this world to be my imaginary boyfriend without feeling guilty. I can still make a list on my dream guy; without feeling guilty. I can dream bigger than anyone else.  

     After all, it’s all the mindset. You always incharge in your happiness. You can not blame or rely on anyone upon your life. If you decide to be happy, in whatever state you are, you will be.