Sunday, March 13, 2016

Let's choose to ignore!

Insecurities. Girls are very insecure, it's like a girl-nature to get insecured in almost everything. My insecurities lead to a series of linked mental-health problems. You know, anxious & bipolar-disorder. My insecurities is resulted on over-jealousy and over-thinking. I overthink, most of the time. I always wanted to be the best, I want no people beat me in my major. I want to be the best, the only best, the most special human creature every one ever met. I try hard to be that girl. I hate mainstream, except for One Direction. They are the only mainstream I love and honestly there's time I want to not love /like them but I can't. I hate trends because they are mainstream. I don't do ig because well yes

1. I insecure.

2. I don't have a real amazing life to share.

3. I hate mainstream.

4. I hate competition.


This wild guess and the tendency of this guess to be true is about 99.97% to be true, probably the reason why I don't commit in any relationship is because of this negative trait of mine. I am a jealous girl. And insecure. And overthinking. Somehow, I chose to ignore all that and focus more on being a better version of myself cuz if i keep thinking aboot it i'm going to be terribly sad and my bipolar will strike all over again, that's sucks dude! I'm up to no kidding!

Yes, a healthy relationship requires all these all plus and minus. If jealousy is conveyed as love than how about open-mindedness? Less love? and What about over-jealous-towards-every-single-thing-and-every-girl-wants-my-bf?  Over love? Too love? heh. for me it's just a sign of an unstable mind.

Doesn't make any sense!

On the other hand, I myself have to think from another side of the coin. Everyone fights a battle we having no idea about.

BTW

I was hired as an actress!

for one of my classmate project.

But nahh, I wasn't born as an actress (well not for an unpopular school project, I was born for Hollywood! ha ha ha). I unmanaged to deliver the simplest lines and laughed all way long. Ah Gawd, he recorded it all my stupid laughs! Bij, don't hit the play and please delete my role! I'm afraid he's going to use it against me to blackmail me when i one day becoming famous.


It's a wrap! 

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