Showing posts with label School life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School life. Show all posts

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Let's choose to ignore!

Insecurities. Girls are very insecure, it's like a girl-nature to get insecured in almost everything. My insecurities lead to a series of linked mental-health problems. You know, anxious & bipolar-disorder. My insecurities is resulted on over-jealousy and over-thinking. I overthink, most of the time. I always wanted to be the best, I want no people beat me in my major. I want to be the best, the only best, the most special human creature every one ever met. I try hard to be that girl. I hate mainstream, except for One Direction. They are the only mainstream I love and honestly there's time I want to not love /like them but I can't. I hate trends because they are mainstream. I don't do ig because well yes

1. I insecure.

2. I don't have a real amazing life to share.

3. I hate mainstream.

4. I hate competition.

This wild guess and the tendency of this guess to be true is about 99.97% to be true, probably the reason why I don't commit in any relationship is because of this negative trait of mine. I am a jealous girl. And insecure. And overthinking. Somehow, I chose to ignore all that and focus more on being a better version of myself cuz if i keep thinking aboot it i'm going to be terribly sad and my bipolar will strike all over again, that's sucks dude! I'm up to no kidding!

Yes, a healthy relationship requires all these all plus and minus. If jealousy is conveyed as love than how about open-mindedness? Less love? and What about over-jealous-towards-every-single-thing-and-every-girl-wants-my-bf?  Over love? Too love? heh. for me it's just a sign of an unstable mind.

Doesn't make any sense!

On the other hand, I myself have to think from another side of the coin. Everyone fights a battle we having no idea about.


I was hired as an actress!

for one of my classmate project.

But nahh, I wasn't born as an actress (well not for an unpopular school project, I was born for Hollywood! ha ha ha). I unmanaged to deliver the simplest lines and laughed all way long. Ah Gawd, he recorded it all my stupid laughs! Bij, don't hit the play and please delete my role! I'm afraid he's going to use it against me to blackmail me when i one day becoming famous.

It's a wrap! 

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

towards an engineer material

Supposed to be seating for 2 quizzes today, but Chemistry quiz got cancelled. Walah. Means more time to study Chemistry especially Alkene, I just started with the introduction part. There much much more on on physical properties, naming it, cis trans, e z nomenclature, preparations, substitutions and others more. I incapable of covering the Alkene because I was paying attention on Material & Energy Balance (MEB). Even there are only 2 questions, open booked, 50 minutes BUT I swear it's not easy! Killer subject I guess.

I hope I don't bore you with my engineering stuff, because as for what I'm thinking this is one of the ways for me plant the engineering spirit in me which I lacked most, for an engineering student. LOL. I'm mentioning engineering quite so much.

You know what, I read fiction, particularly chick-flick. I love words. I love flowery words, idioms, metaphors and almost every literature language. But in engineering, the shorter and straight to the point without idioms and simile, the more engineering material you are. Which in this case, I'm having most issue with. As I oathed myself that I will try hard to be apart of engineering family, I came out with several ideas on becoming 'engineer material'.

1. I should will stop reading fictions. lol. i should stop reading chick-flick-too-good-to-be-true tales. So, byebye Sophie Kinsella, Lindsey Kelk & my fav character, Rebecca Bloomwood.

2. I will read more science fictions.

3. I will get involved in intergalactic adventures; Star Wars, Star Trek, you named it.

4. I will wear less pink <-- irrelevant cuz I'm not a p!nKy guRl

5. Try to be less feminine.

6. Here come the best idea, instead of reading chick-flick, i replaced it with reading thesis. zzzz

7. Do more maths.

8. Be a geek.

9. Write a blog post like an engineer. Straight to the points, state issue, explain problems, come out suggestions, do calculations, conclude, no feelings, robotic, perfectionist, plain, boring, dull, not cheeky.


Thats it.


Saturday, March 5, 2016

Me as an engineering student

I write this another post to motivate my own self. No any other reason because there will be time in future that i'll stalk myself because well, I am obsessed with me. No doubt. So, in case that time, I turning into a total douche and lost track in life, this post will motivate me. Reminded me how ''significant'' i used to be.

My favourite TV show now is The Big Bang Theory (TBBT). A genius show. The main characters are all scientists, physicist to be accurate. They are smart-ass. Since forever, I am always attracted to geniuses. From Detective Conan to Sherlock to Ted Mosby (errr) and currently to Sheldon Cooper. I started really watching it at the beginning of Semester II, the show somehow make me eager to study engineering. I always wanted to be a genius. Since English is not my first language, I make TBBT ( or basically any shows that use English language as a medium of delivering words ) a reference in order to learn and understands the slang and usage of English in a better way. I love English language. Most of the time, I watch them with inserted English subtitle. Sheldon Cooper has a wide range of vocabulary and most of words that came out from his mouth were alien to my ears. Sometimes, I did google the peculiar word he spoke and walah, i know a new word then i practise it by tweeting.

The saddest part of me is I'm not a genius. I have such a grave difficulty even when the only problem I faced is conducting the simplest lab experiment. We work in group for every lab experimental. I felt terribly sorry for my groupmates for having this despicable in their team.

1. It's not like I don't try to improve myself, but the outcomes are always worse than the idea of me not knowing what's the fuck is going on most of the time. For instance, a simple task is given to me. Instead of completing it, I complicate it with my won interpretations and keep asking as for them ''unrelated'' questions.

2. I love language, so language does matter to me. Engineering students and language are suddenly two different things.

3. I'm not a perfectionist but I cannot do things I don't understand. Sadly, it took aboot 25 hours for me to understand a simple thing.

4. I don't target engineering. I didn't do well sciences subjects in school. I target accounting or economy. For the 1000th times, I obtained an A for Prinsip Perakaunan in SPM. I guess, UPU was sabotaging me.

5. I always ended up like a total loser and a sort of idiotic bimbo right after I voiced out my opinion during laboratory experiment according to my ''logic''. Of course, my 'logicness' suit nothing Science.


That's it for now.

To whoever read this whether voluntarily or vice versa, wish me luck pursuing engineering.

Aiiman, Balqis & me in laboratory coat.

I'm not sure if you notice it, my lab coat is the only short-sleeved. It was my sister's, est. since 2009. I'm a cheapskate, you can say it. But, compared to others, i got a strong feeling that mine's is less thick and very comfortable to wear. 

the happy faces BEFORE the experiment.

If only she knows what's miserable followed her after this photography session... 
It was 2.00 pm. I studied the lab manual the night before, for the quiz and for a more understanding about the experiment. Like always, attempt failed. So here come, bimboby.

why the hell i looked damn pale. a sign from universe?

Sunday, April 27, 2014

School on Sunday?!

My sister thought i was kidding when i told her i got an extra class on sunday. Not surprise, it was chemistry. Seems like i love chemistry even more now because i start to understand what chemistry is all about. 

Dont ask me what Izz trying to do

At the school compound. I dont know this reminds me of picnic. Yeah, we were having picnic at the school compound with chemistry! 
My group. Everyone seems so busy while i, like always vaining.

Izz trying so hard to look innocent.
With munchkin , Ain.

Besides vaining, i also do my work okay.

Suddenly izz turning to an angel! 


190 days left till SPM

Photoshoot week

Being too emotional lately. Once i said, i am turning to someone i hate and it almost become a reality. Now i do believe that talk is pray. From now on , i promise myself to only talk about good things. Not promise but try. Can or not , i am still going to try.

Enough with emotional yet super duper annoying post related with emotional and feelings, today im going to share to you about my life. My life now is absolutely about things happening at school and you know school, the place where emotional taking its place and controls me. OKAY IVE ALREADY PROMISED YOU AN ENJOYFUL POST NOT EMOTIONAL AGAIN. Okay. Okay, so much okay in a post. RIGHT NOW LETS START.

Last week was photoshoot week. I still can remember my mom's reaction when i told her that this week is photoshoot week so i want to look neat, at least not sloppy like always. Me +( school uniform X school) = *put your own answer*. Okay back to the story, MY MOM WAS VERY ECSTATIC SHE REALLY THOUGHT HER SLOPPY DAUGHTER DOES REALLY ALREADY BE A MODEL FOR AN EXTRA SIZE APPAREL. Fine. Then i said "no mom its just school magazine". And you guess her reaction!

Day 1 (class photoshoot)

Woke up in the morning. ((Lol why i wrote this everyone knew it)). Went to school , brought along glitter scarf and headband because my classmates said we are going to wrap that around our head as our signature class look. Since i didnt have any scarf , i stole my sister's scarf. No, thats not really stealing it is called sharing. Whats the purpose of having a sister who owns a bunch of scarves if we didnt share. Remember that sharing is caring. But need also remember that, your things are ours together, my thing are mine alone. Since you are an elder sister, it is a responsible to give your things to your little (cute) sister.

After chemist, theres no class. Happinessssssssss. I was joining few of my classmates vaining at the back of the class. Theres a mirror there and you know when girls meet mirror, friends foreverrrrrrrr. 

Our photoshoot was exactly before recess. Cant handle our excitement on how to smile during formal, should we showing out our teeth or maybe just grinning. 

The moment when we were exactly at our place for photoshoot, my english teacher suddenly came and asked us to finish photoshoot as soon as possible because our penolong kanan was going to examine our class. We were so rushed up. I cant even remember how i smile. But all i know it must be awkward. The scarf and headband that i brought are useless. My friends and i ended up just holding each others hand during candid and that is so typical. Right after english, we were having a look at other class photoshoot, and that was so frustrating since all of them were very calm and well prepared. Jealousy strikes us like hell.

                  (Dont spot me)

Day 2 (uniform photoshoot)

I was late for school!! I reached school at 7.50am , 20 minutes late. During add maths suddenly a boy came and asked me to go down for photoshoot. I was shocked! I didnt remember that i was also an ajk tertinggi. Lol. I actually i was not chosen appropriately. The secretary is my friend, before she was voted to be a secretary , i told her how i wish i can get at least a position. Then she put my name as an ajk. Haha. BUT I DO MY WORK OKAY

Day 3 (club photoshoot)

This is the funniest among all. This day i was fully ready with my other friends. Since in the morning, we were waiting for our name to be called. Everyone who came in, we will stare at them and wish our name be called. We cant even focus in class. Every 5 minute, someone is coming and call my other classmates. Izz and i were almost gave up and made assumption maybe the magazine crew forgot our club since my club is an underdog club. 

Finally we were called. We waited about an hour before the photoshoot waiting at the school compound like crazy. We were waiting for our club teacher to come. And guess what?! The crew didnt even called our teacher. We have to call ourselves! I know i must not blame them, they must be so tired. Ah whatever. 

So that is all about my photoshoot week. Final year as a high school student made me feel sad. No more school uniform after this. I know i must enjoy every second of my life now. I know. I know. But i prefer to be lazy and procrastinate and hating people either. Haihh. 

190 days before SPM

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Happy and sad

            (QOTD : spot me)

Happy birthday the best BM teacher alive, Puan Nazilah.

Ok story closed for Puan Nazilah.

One thing I will never understand about our people (Malaysians). Today, we have lost one of our negarawan. Late Karpal Singh. Some people still can manipulate over his death saying this and that. Respect. Thats all you have to do. Put aside all your political views and whatever views upon him. Please do respect others as you wish people do respect you. 

200 more days till SPM

Monday, April 7, 2014

Busy zz

- drama for ulbs
- powerpoint konserto terakhir chapter 9
- prep for bm's presentation ( i need to bergurindam in front of the whole class zz) 
- sivic's presentation on kementerian kebudayaan blabla
- folio account
- tons of add maths works due to procrastination
- prep physically and mentally since tomorrow got 4 periods of chemistry class. Straight! But i bet theres a break because my teacher is cute and not cruel. 
- ""fun"" with biology session
- accounting quiz. Oh how i wish my group wins this competition. The champion of this competition may get 200k scholar in accounting course. 

HEY YOU ARE VISITING A BLOG OF A BUSY GIRL IN TOWN. Muahaha jk. May have a good day ahead.