Showing posts with label Self-motivate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Self-motivate. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

towards an engineer material

Supposed to be seating for 2 quizzes today, but Chemistry quiz got cancelled. Walah. Means more time to study Chemistry especially Alkene, I just started with the introduction part. There much much more on on physical properties, naming it, cis trans, e z nomenclature, preparations, substitutions and others more. I incapable of covering the Alkene because I was paying attention on Material & Energy Balance (MEB). Even there are only 2 questions, open booked, 50 minutes BUT I swear it's not easy! Killer subject I guess.

I hope I don't bore you with my engineering stuff, because as for what I'm thinking this is one of the ways for me plant the engineering spirit in me which I lacked most, for an engineering student. LOL. I'm mentioning engineering quite so much.

You know what, I read fiction, particularly chick-flick. I love words. I love flowery words, idioms, metaphors and almost every literature language. But in engineering, the shorter and straight to the point without idioms and simile, the more engineering material you are. Which in this case, I'm having most issue with. As I oathed myself that I will try hard to be apart of engineering family, I came out with several ideas on becoming 'engineer material'.

1. I should will stop reading fictions. lol. i should stop reading chick-flick-too-good-to-be-true tales. So, byebye Sophie Kinsella, Lindsey Kelk & my fav character, Rebecca Bloomwood.

2. I will read more science fictions.

3. I will get involved in intergalactic adventures; Star Wars, Star Trek, you named it.

4. I will wear less pink <-- irrelevant cuz I'm not a p!nKy guRl

5. Try to be less feminine.

6. Here come the best idea, instead of reading chick-flick, i replaced it with reading thesis. zzzz

7. Do more maths.

8. Be a geek.

9. Write a blog post like an engineer. Straight to the points, state issue, explain problems, come out suggestions, do calculations, conclude, no feelings, robotic, perfectionist, plain, boring, dull, not cheeky.

10. WATCH TBBT!

Thats it.

Ciao.

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

a coward b

Consistency. There's time when I actually can read, study, doing sudoku, watching TBBT and write a post. But, I'm afraid whether can I do the same exact things tomorrow for the sake of consistency. I am a very dependable to an emotion or uncatogarized thing called 'mood' and voluntary. I hate to do things I don't want to do, things I don't give a fuck on, et cetera.

However

Life is not always going the way you wanted it to be. Plans are somehow just a plain written words on a piece of paper; no any specific meanings, no longer a guide towards a dreamy life. Some circumstances left us no choice except for just go through it.

I actually don't really know what's wrong with me. Me and my engineering course story is like in an endless tale of love-hate relationship. Whenever I faced hardships in studies, I blamed engineering. Whenever I met an un-nice human, I blamed engineering. Whenever I found myself problems ; I blamed you-know-what. It's sometimes not even related to you-know-what.

The first place I took this course is because I think in future I will not regret. It's once a lifetime offer and both my mom and dad were over the moon the day of my UPU result came out. Unable to make them disappointed, I grab this chance. Oh for my goodness sake, am I blaming my parents?

See how coward this B.

May one day, I got back what I missed.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Me as an engineering student

I write this another post to motivate my own self. No any other reason because there will be time in future that i'll stalk myself because well, I am obsessed with me. No doubt. So, in case that time, I turning into a total douche and lost track in life, this post will motivate me. Reminded me how ''significant'' i used to be.

My favourite TV show now is The Big Bang Theory (TBBT). A genius show. The main characters are all scientists, physicist to be accurate. They are smart-ass. Since forever, I am always attracted to geniuses. From Detective Conan to Sherlock to Ted Mosby (errr) and currently to Sheldon Cooper. I started really watching it at the beginning of Semester II, the show somehow make me eager to study engineering. I always wanted to be a genius. Since English is not my first language, I make TBBT ( or basically any shows that use English language as a medium of delivering words ) a reference in order to learn and understands the slang and usage of English in a better way. I love English language. Most of the time, I watch them with inserted English subtitle. Sheldon Cooper has a wide range of vocabulary and most of words that came out from his mouth were alien to my ears. Sometimes, I did google the peculiar word he spoke and walah, i know a new word then i practise it by tweeting.

The saddest part of me is I'm not a genius. I have such a grave difficulty even when the only problem I faced is conducting the simplest lab experiment. We work in group for every lab experimental. I felt terribly sorry for my groupmates for having this despicable in their team.

1. It's not like I don't try to improve myself, but the outcomes are always worse than the idea of me not knowing what's the fuck is going on most of the time. For instance, a simple task is given to me. Instead of completing it, I complicate it with my won interpretations and keep asking as for them ''unrelated'' questions.

2. I love language, so language does matter to me. Engineering students and language are suddenly two different things.

3. I'm not a perfectionist but I cannot do things I don't understand. Sadly, it took aboot 25 hours for me to understand a simple thing.

4. I don't target engineering. I didn't do well sciences subjects in school. I target accounting or economy. For the 1000th times, I obtained an A for Prinsip Perakaunan in SPM. I guess, UPU was sabotaging me.

5. I always ended up like a total loser and a sort of idiotic bimbo right after I voiced out my opinion during laboratory experiment according to my ''logic''. Of course, my 'logicness' suit nothing Science.

...................

That's it for now.

To whoever read this whether voluntarily or vice versa, wish me luck pursuing engineering.


Aiiman, Balqis & me in laboratory coat.

I'm not sure if you notice it, my lab coat is the only short-sleeved. It was my sister's, est. since 2009. I'm a cheapskate, you can say it. But, compared to others, i got a strong feeling that mine's is less thick and very comfortable to wear. 

the happy faces BEFORE the experiment.

If only she knows what's miserable followed her after this photography session... 
It was 2.00 pm. I studied the lab manual the night before, for the quiz and for a more understanding about the experiment. Like always, attempt failed. So here come, bimboby.

why the hell i looked damn pale. a sign from universe?





Monday, August 3, 2015

Day 2 : Wake me up!

Told Ameera that I am feeling demotivated and feeling like give up life. I am feeling incomplete, my chest feel narrowed.

Then she gave me this picture and ask whether did i feel anything after seeing this picture.


Human.

It's a nature to feel incomplete, desire to want more and feeling never enough.


Friday, April 10, 2015

100 Happy Days Challenge


Obviously, I am jobless right now and don't have any plan on searching for job. I was thinking to have a break for this time being while waiting for any offer on pursuing tertiary education. Gosh just look at my writing skill  -..-

Since I do nothing other than eating, sleeping and watching TV, i decided to take this #100HappyDays Challenge.

It's so simple. All you have to do is sharing at least a pic a day on things that make you happy on your preferred social networks. Most of the people who take this challenge use Instagram and Twitter as their platform, but of course this stubborn bobby make her no-followers blog as her platform. Whatever that makes me happy and you can't stop me doing things that makes me happy.

71% people failed this challenge.

Because they do have a packed life schedule ; unlike me. HAHAHA.

So the point is, I am going to post this challenge blatantly here.

Get ready to cope with my annoyingness. kehkehkeh.

xoxo,

B.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

I am strong!

I am pathetic! No one said so, perhaps not directly to me but I know I am pathetic. I feel pathetic. I feel empty. Emptiness taking over me since few months ago. I don't know what I've done wrong. Everything turns to a whole disaster when it comes to me. 

I'm a sinner. I know I'm a sinner. I don't need anyone to come , meet me and saying I'm not a sinner because I know its all a lie. 

I'm a hater. And I visibly know that hater gonna hate. 

Everything is so messed up.

My life is serabut.

I hate to admit it but I need a new life. New circumstance. New country. New people to meet. I know that I supposed to not say it because it will never happened. Even when its happen one day, I am pretty sure I will response with "I miss my old life".

If only I could turnt back time, I promise I will not choose what I've chose. I will not 
come by the path I already passed now. It's hurt. I don't know what I'm not happy about but all I know is I'm not whole-heartedly happy. 

If only I could turnt back time, I promise to treat people nicely ; no matter how I dislike them for no valid reason. I promise to take every oppurtunity served in front of me once. I promise to not be annoying as how I am now. I promise to read more books. I promise to not raise my voice to anyone. I promise I will sit in front of the laptop for hours, doing insignificant things that slowly ruined my life and turnt be to a whole disgusting creature. 

I promise I will not be ignorant as I used to be.

Now, I have to pay the price for every mistake I've done ; intentionally or unintentionally. I have to continue my life,
swallow the bitter pill called reality.

But!

I also need to remember that nothings too late. I'm only 16, by mean, I'm turning 17 next 15th August. My journey is still long. I supposed to not gave up and lose to life.

I must be strong! 

I can be strong!

I am strong!

Xoxo

Bobby